Open for Content Edits

I will begin doing content critiques again in the month of October. This means that you have from now until October 1^st 2016 to get your manuscript and payment to me. (I've been told that I need to give some of you more notice so here you go). 

Anyone who sends their manuscript and payment by October 1^st will have their critique back before Thanksgiving.

How can I do this and why would you want to be told horrible things about your manuscript?

Maybe, because you want to find an agent or editor?

Why do you think you're any good at this at all?

I've been beta reading since forever, not only for unpublished authors, but for agented and published ones as well. Quite honestly, I was a terrible reader for the first ten years or so. I was worried about hurting people's feelings, and didn't say when a passage stunk or when something made me go what?! Now I do. This is what you need to improve your writing.

Also, I remember thinking, "I wish someone would just tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it." Seriously, some of you guys are wonderful writers, you have a voice, your sentence structure is strong. But your pacing sucks, or you just can't quite make your characters come alive for the reader. I can help you with that.

Why would you want to use your time like this when you could be watching Dr. Who or Supernatural?

Quite honestly, I have six kids. Five are in college, and one is in private high school. I'd like them to stay there. Also we like food. Food is a good thing.

Why would I want to pay for a critique when I can get one free from my own critique group?

Unless your beta readers are published, or are working with a traditional agent or editor, they don't have the experience to help you. I do.

What do I get for my money?

I'll post notes throughout the manuscript using Word and Track Changes. I'll tell you where, when, and why you're messing up. I'll tell you what you're doing right, and what you shouldn't change. I'll also provide a detailed letter of what I think will improve your work.

Every writer is at a different stage of development. All writers (including me) have problems actually seeing their story because what they've written is colored by what they see in their own mind. The reader doesn't have the benefit of your imagination.

What won't you do?

I don't critique erotica. (For all I know I could be doing it wrong.) I have friends who are experts at critiquing erotica and romance. Email me and I'll recommend you.

I don't offer edits on picture book manuscripts because I am not qualified to do so.

I will not correct your punctuation. You need a line editor for that.

How do I contact you?

You can email me at juliebutcheredits@yahoo.com
You can check out recommendations and *like* my editing page at https://www.facebook.com/JulieButcherEdits
On twitter you can find me at https://twitter.com/Julie_Butcher

What does this cost?

First Chapter (up to 20 pages)  $50.00

First Three Chapters (up to 50 pages) $100.00

Entire Manuscript Critique $1.00 a page minimum of 200 pages.

These prices are for Times New Roman 12pt font double-spaced Word documents. Nothing else.

I look forward to working with you.

Need New Eyes on Your Manuscript?

I will be accepting clients for manuscript critiques from now until May 1st. So what this means is that if you get your payment and manuscript to me by then you can get a critique. If it is not here by that time, I will be starting a new manuscript myself.


Why do you think you're any good at this at all?
I've been beta reading since 1990, not only for unpublished authors, but for agented and published ones, too. Quite honestly, I was a terrible reader for the first ten years or so. I was worried about hurting people's feelings, and didn't say when a passage stunk on ice, or when something made me go WTF?! Now I do. This is what you need to improve your writing.
Also, I remember thinking, "I wish someone would just tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it." Seriously, some of you guys are wonderful writers, you have a voice, your sentence structure is strong. But, your pacing sucks, or you just can't quite make your characters come alive for the reader. I can help you with that.
Why would you want to use your time like this when you could be watching Dr. Who or Spiderman?
Quite honestly, I have six kids. Five are in college, and one is in private high school. I'd like them to stay there.
How much will this cost?
First Chapter (up to 20 pages)  $50.00
First Three Chapters (up to 50 pages) $100.00
Entire Manuscript Critique $1.00 a page minimum of 200 pages.

For anything else, email me at juliebutcheredits@yahoo.com
For more information please go here.
I look forward to working with you.

Writing Teenagers and Food

Okay people let’s get something straight. Teens eat more than burgers and fries and pizza. They don’t drink only fizzy drinks. In fact, they eat pretty much what you do.

Coffee is a big thing now. There’s a Starbucks almost everywhere. Maybe you weren’t allowed to drink coffee as a child, but that isn’t the same as other people. Kids have favorite brands of coffee. They like flavored coffee, and regular, and have a special creamer they prefer. My kids are allowed to drink coffee or tea when they turn 10. A lot of my friends have kids who drink coffee. IT IS A THING. Give it up that they sound too old because they drink coffee. It isn’t liquor. Geez.

When my kids go to the bookstore, they get a coffee. It isn’t only adults who drink coffee. Just like you adults eat pizza and burgers. There isn’t an age limit on food, okay?

My children’s grandmother didn’t drink caffeine for years because there were rumors that it wasn’t good for you. You know how the health waves go. One year a certain thing will kill you, and the next it is good for you and you should have it every single day. You need to keep up and not date your writing with what you were taught as a child. (I didn’t know what gluten was as a teen—now everyone knows.)

The point is that you need to pay attention to the changes and trends in society as a whole. Gluten is bad now, so you’re going to have teen characters who don’t eat gluten. Coffee is cool now so you’re going to have middle grade and young adult characters who drink coffee. You’ll also have kids who don’t eat processed food, and characters who read every label for peanut allergies.

Food is a thing, guys. Pay attention to the world.

Social Media and Social Responsibility

Writers everywhere are trying to create a social media platform. They join every single big site. They pimp novels. (This totally does not work people) They push their friend’s books. (Also made of fail unless it is a release day). And generally, they make a nuisance of themselves. Scroll through your Facebook or Twitter and see how far you need to go to see a real person talk. They get the whole social media but they forget social responsibility.

I was looking at Facebook the other day and a lovely woman posted a picture of her friend dressed up for an event. Her friend was beautiful. She had obviously taken a lot of time with hair and nails and an outfit. Do you know what people were saying? NOT ONE THING.

 How mean was that?

Isn't it tough enough to have a positive body image in today’s society without totally ignoring a lovely person? I can guarantee you that this woman could not possibly feel as lovely as she looked. I know this because when I was younger, I was a very pretty woman but I didn't think so. Thank God that there wasn't social media then to confirm what I suspected was true. I would have never left the house. I wouldn't have met my husband or ever had my six children.

You are never going to give offense with an honest compliment. I told the woman that she looked beautiful. She did. Someone else being lovely, or wearing a pretty dress, or even showing off a new manicure does not take one darn thing away from you. Take a second of your precious time and say so. Your comment might be the one positive thing in their day. You won’t ever know if what you said mattered because you can’t know the horrors they may face in their everyday life. But maybe, just maybe, your words will turn their day around.

Everyone is all against bullying. We teach our children to be nice and not to judge or harass people. But I am here to tell you that this isn't enough. Teach them kindness and caring and start by being supportive of others and their interests not only in your real life, but online.

I think we all want to leave the world a better place. Hopefully how we act will make a mark on people and places that we love. If you’re using social media, then you have the responsibility of making the virtual world a better place, too.

We can’t all buy someone in need a car, or pay off their hospital bills, but we can all take the time once a day to give someone a compliment. It’s a little thing. But sometimes the little things are what matter the most and what make the biggest difference.

The Four Reasons You are not Published

I'm over at Buzzy Mag explaining all ot the things and wearing ranty-pants. http://buzzymag.com/four-reasons-published/

I Can Tell You Why Your Manuscript Sucks

I am accepting content edits until October 1st. If the date is a problem for you then you need to email me immediately. Don't mess around guys.

How can I do this and why would you want to be told such a horrible thing?

Maybe, because you want to find an agent or editor who LOVES YOU DEARLY?

 So I've started a critique service. Not forever, but for a while.

Why do you think you're any good at this at all?

I've been beta reading since 1990, not only for unpublished authors, but for agented and published ones, too. Quite honestly, I was a terrible reader for the first ten years or so. I was worried about hurting people's feelings, and didn't say when a passage stunk on ice, or when something made me go WTF?! Now I do. This is what you need to improve your writing.

Also, I remember thinking, "I wish someone would just tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it." Seriously, some of you guys are wonderful writers, you have a voice, your sentence structure is strong. But, your pacing sucks, or you just can't quite make your characters come alive for the reader. I can help you with that.

Why would you want to use your time like this when you could be watching Dr. Who or Spiderman?

Quite honestly, I have six kids. Five are in college, and one is in private high school. I'd like them to stay there.

Why would I want to pay for a critique when I can get one free from my own critique group?

Unless your beta readers are published, or are working with a traditional agent or editor, they don't have the experience to help you. I do.

How much will this cost?

First Chapter (up to 20 pages)  $50.00

First Three Chapters (up to 50 pages) $100.00

Entire Manuscript Critique $1.50 a page minimum of 200 pages.

Emergency Fee to Jump the Queue  $50

For anything else, you will need to contact me. juliebutcheredits@yahoo(dot)com


What do I get for my money?

I'll post notes throughout the manuscript using Word and Track Changes. I'll tell you where, when, and why you're messing up. I'll tell you what you're doing right, and what you shouldn't change. I'll also provide a detailed letter of what I think will improve your work.

Every writer is at a different stage of development. All writers (including me) have problems actually seeing their story because what they've written is colored by what they see in their own mind. The reader doesn't have the benefit of your imagination.

What won't you do?

I don't critique erotica. (For all I know I could be doing it wrong.)

I don't offer edits on picture book manuscripts because I am not qualified to do so.

I will not correct your punctuation. You need a line editor for that.

How do I contact you?

You can email me at juliebutcheredits@yahoo.com
You can check out recommendations and *like* my editing page at https://www.facebook.com/JulieButcherEdits
On twitter you can find me at https://twitter.com/Julie_Butcher

I look forward to working with you.

Yes You Do Need an Editor

When I finally got to the place in my writing where my future agent of awesome had asked for revisions, I was ambushed by fear. My beta group at that time was at the same writing level as I was. None of us had an agent and none of us were published.

So I hired an editor.

She saw all the bits that I thought were good enough but that were still at a lower level of professionalism. She pointed out where she went all WTF IS THIS??!!  A new pair of eyes saw all of the flaws that my crazy writer brain missed. There were a lot—like hundreds or maybe thousands.  I fixed them all well enough to sign with my dream agent.

Guys, there is no way under heaven that you can write your own book, and edit out the flaws without another opinion. (Family doesn’t count. Of course your momma loves your book.) The problem is that we seldom have friends who are at a higher writing level than we are. Published authors tend to hang together. (Mostly because they don’t want to be harassed for an introduction to their agent or editor.)  Uber- ginormous published authors have beta readers that they can trust and they have tons of deadlines so you can’t bother them. Seriously, don’t do it because RUDE.

But what you can do is to either BEG someone better than you to read or, you can hire an editor.

After you have worn out your Beta group, you need a content editor first. A content editor points out the best ways to make your characters shine. They tell you where you’re wandering off into the swamp of the muddy middle. They also tell you where you make their brain go into a seizure trying to figure out WTF is going on. They fall into the plot-holes so your readers don’t.

If you’re serious about writing, hire a content editor. You’ll learn stuff. If you absolutely can’t afford it then find every contest, drawing, and auction you can and get a professional edit.

There are a lot of agented writers who do editing work. I do and you can see all of the prices and things here. http://jrbutcher.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-can-tell-you-why-your-manuscript.html or you can email me at juliebutcheredits@yahoo.com

 The lovely Authoress Anonymous does and you can find her rates here. http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2007/01/authoress-edits.html  She is awesome and has been my critique partner for a while. You’ll love her.

After you’ve fixed all of the things that your content editor pointed out, you need a line editor.

Don’t argue with me because YES YOU DO. Unless you are a professional editor, you absolutely will not find all of the problems. Even if you are an editor your own brain still sees your story as it wants it to be, not as someone else sees it. Habits sneak up on the best of us, bad habits, evil habits. The comma fairy will come when you are asleep and poop all over your manuscript and you won’t even notice.

I use Richard Shealy  as a line editor and you can find him at http://sffcopyediting.com/index.php/who/  Even if you’re not writing scifi or fantasy, give him an email.

So let’s review the order of how we edit our finished manuscript.

1.       Have a beta group of readers

2.       Hire a content editor

3.       Fix all of the things

4.       Hire a line editor

5.       Submit your work to agents and editors.

6.       Get an agent or a publisher

Start all over again

I Don't Do Copy Edits, But I Know Who Does

Okay guys, you know I do content editing but I don't have the skill to do copy editing. You can find all kinds of people running about on the Internet saying they do have those skills. Anyway, I thought some of you might need those services in the near future. (I've been reading some awesome manuscripts.)

Or, some of you might not want me to do your content editing because I eat a lot of cake or whatever. Also because I might be just a little crazy. (Six children worth of crazy and I earned every zapped-out molecule.)

So without any further fanfare, here are two people I would trust with my money and my manuscripts. They are both brilliant and have worked with a lot of popular published authors. They can copy edit. I can't.

A lot of you know Authoress Anonymous and her awesome website Miss Snark's First Victim. If you're a writer you should go there immediately. She has some of the most awesome agent and editor contests ever! She also works as an independent editor. Her editorial services and prices are listed. She only does partials at the moment and I do believe that there will soon be a way where (for a price and in an emergency) you can jump the queue.

http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2007/01/authoress-edits.html I personally recommend her. We've been friends and critique partners for years. Your manuscript can only get better in her hands.

The second person I'd like to recommend is Richard Shealy. He specializes in fantasy and science fiction and works professionally for some of the big six publishers. I personally know the big names he beta reads for,(no I won't tell you ) and guarantee that he'll keep all of those pesky ducks (or dragons) marching in a nice row. He is excellent at keeping you voice yours, and he will line edit your work until it shines like gold.

I think the science fiction and fantasy writers know how difficult it is to find someone who understands your world and the rules. He can do it. His website is here. http://sffcopyediting.com/

Of course you can have me wearing my bossy pants for content edits.

Both of the above people are personal friends and I have no doubts guaranteeing their integrity.

The Bacon Poem

Middle son was out of poem ideas so he told a friend, "Quick, give me a subject!" The results are below.



Slipping into dreams I slept,
To wake up in the morn'.
Down the creaky stairs I crept,
Feeling sore and worn.

Much to my surprise I see,
My nose was not mistaken.
Someone went ahead and cooked,
A plate of precious bacon.

My stomach rumbled like a storm,
I went forth with delight.
But then I shed a single tear,
I woke up in the night.

Evil League of Evil Writers: Baby Evil Writers 101: Finding a Reputable Agent #...

Evil League of Evil Writers: Baby Evil Writers 101: Finding a Reputable Agent #...:
Baby Evil Writers 101: Finding a Reputable Agent Step #1

Once you’ve finished a manuscript, it’s easy to jump right into sending hundreds of letters to literary agents. Maybe you get a list from a friend, or sign up for a website that lists agents who represent the genre of book that you write. They’re an agent and so inherently have the evil goodness that you’re searching for, right?

Not so my sweet minions of evil.

Continue reading at The Evil League of Evil Writers

This was today.

'nuff said.

I Killed the Crockpot But I Didn't Shoot the Refugee

So today was the big day for my high school kids. The entire school dresses like turn of the century immigrants and they go through the processing at Ellis Island (the school gym) like their ancestors did. We spent yesterday getting costumes together.

The kids asked me to make Russian Piroshki, which are fried meat pies. So after working my patotie off on costumes, I stayed up until midnight prepping the meat, eggs, onions, etc so the actual cooking of the pies would be easy for this morning.

My youngest son, Gabe.






This is my middle daughter Ellie----->

 This morning I was up at dark o'clock to make the piroshki. I rolled dough and filled pies and fried them up. There was plenty of time, we even had five minutes to sit before we had to load up the crock pot and drive to school.

We didn't make it out the door. (insert scene of wild panic). Glass was everywhere, the floor, the counters and most of all it was fallen into the peroshki.

The phone rang and my youngest had forgotten her lunch. The dogs were in the glass trying to get the meat.

Well, by then we were running late. The kids piled into the car, I grabbed the dogs, one on a leash and one without, threw a lunch together for youngest daughter, and made it to the car.

Since bringing food is a part of the grade for Ellis Island, the high school kids were freaked.

I dropped the immigrants at their school and sped over to the grade school to drop off lunch. Then The dogs and I went to the grocery, picked up more ingredients, and sped home. But when I got here, the Lowe's truck was unloading my new washing machine. So I parked across the street. One dog was on the leash, one was under my arm like a purse and my other arm had the groceries.

The dog's hind leg got stuck in the waistband of my sweat pants and I pretty much mooned the delivery guys on my way in the door. Seriously, I did. They may never marry having had a preview of the coming attractions of middle age.

So then I had to roll out and make another four dozen Piroshki. Of course, since the crock pot was smashed and gone to Jesus, there was the ginormous hunt for the missing electric pancake griddle. (It was the only thing big enough to heat a turkey-roaster pan full of meat pies-- because cold fried pie is nasty.)

Finally, I actually managed to deliver the Piroshki to school. Now the immigrants won't starve and I may be a hero.

Noon: This just in. Middle daughter tweeted me that the piroshki was the first food to be eaten gone! We win at lunch.

3PM: The pancake griddle evidently caught a chair on fire. 0-O

Head-banger Writing

Sometimes I think it would be easier to stand and bang your head against a brick wall that it is to be a writer. I mean, think about it. Head-banging only requires a head, a wall, and the courage to get ‘er done.  There could only be three outcomes. Your head would break, the wall would crumble, or you’d pass out stone cold.

Some days I’d rather bash my noggin than try to pull words out of the knot inside.

I may seriously need chocolate.

Evil League of Evil Writers: Baby Evil Writers 101: Finding Your Voice

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Strange Love For Valentine’s Day :: Buzzy Mag - Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction.

I have a new article out today. You guys, this is really how my brain works so no judging, mkay?

Strange Love For Valentine’s Day :: Buzzy Mag - Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction.

Now You Can BUY EVIL!

The Evil League of Evil Writers are auctioning off goods and services to help Crestline Elementary School which burned to the ground.

You can find everything from signed books to the awesome writer mentorship. If you've ever wanted the opinion and help of professional writers, now is your chance to bid on a 3 month mentorship, critiques, and help on your query letters. Go from good to EVIL and AWESOME.
The auction is at http://evilauction.blogspot.com

About Crestline

Crestline Elementary was a fabulous school. How do we know this? Ask Lilith Saintcrow.

In her words:

This is the school where the office staff knows every student’s name and the teachers pour their souls–and most of their paychecks–into every kid in every class, not just their own. This is the school where any adult that’s not known on sight AND carrying a red volunteer badge or sticker is clustered by very polite but inflexible staff and volunteers, to be escorted to the office to sign in. It’s the school a ten-year-old boy loves so much he’s excited on Sunday night because Monday means he can go back. The place was held together by the steady commitment of teachers and office staff, who made it work with spit and baling wire some days, and volunteers who pitched in where they could even after their kids went on to other schools. 

This is the school where nobody goes home until all the kids are accounted for at the end of the day.

An extraordinary school indeed.

On Sunday, February 3, Crestline Elementary burned to the ground.

Literally. Nothing's left of the building itself.

The classrooms. The library. Where these kids played and learned, where staff taught and worked.

Everything gone.

Evil League of Evil Writers: Baby Evil Writers 101: On Publishing Wait Times

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Crazy Winter Blues Busters

It’s that time of year again. The lovely sugar rush from the holidays is gone, replaced with the slow agony of dropping those cheesecake-filled pounds. Read the rest at Buzzy Mag.

The Joy of Quiet Things and Puppies

I double-dog dare you not to find Buffy the Vampire-Slayer Von Doom adorable sleeping with her unicorn.

It's the little things.