The Four Reasons You are not Published

I'm over at Buzzy Mag explaining all ot the things and wearing ranty-pants. http://buzzymag.com/four-reasons-published/

Yes You Do Need an Editor

When I finally got to the place in my writing where my future agent of awesome had asked for revisions, I was ambushed by fear. My beta group at that time was at the same writing level as I was. None of us had an agent and none of us were published.

So I hired an editor.

She saw all the bits that I thought were good enough but that were still at a lower level of professionalism. She pointed out where she went all WTF IS THIS??!!  A new pair of eyes saw all of the flaws that my crazy writer brain missed. There were a lot—like hundreds or maybe thousands.  I fixed them all well enough to sign with my dream agent.

Guys, there is no way under heaven that you can write your own book, and edit out the flaws without another opinion. (Family doesn’t count. Of course your momma loves your book.) The problem is that we seldom have friends who are at a higher writing level than we are. Published authors tend to hang together. (Mostly because they don’t want to be harassed for an introduction to their agent or editor.)  Uber- ginormous published authors have beta readers that they can trust and they have tons of deadlines so you can’t bother them. Seriously, don’t do it because RUDE.

But what you can do is to either BEG someone better than you to read or, you can hire an editor.

After you have worn out your Beta group, you need a content editor first. A content editor points out the best ways to make your characters shine. They tell you where you’re wandering off into the swamp of the muddy middle. They also tell you where you make their brain go into a seizure trying to figure out WTF is going on. They fall into the plot-holes so your readers don’t.

If you’re serious about writing, hire a content editor. You’ll learn stuff. If you absolutely can’t afford it then find every contest, drawing, and auction you can and get a professional edit.

There are a lot of agented writers who do editing work. I do and you can see all of the prices and things here. http://jrbutcher.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-can-tell-you-why-your-manuscript.html or you can email me at juliebutcheredits@yahoo.com

 The lovely Authoress Anonymous does and you can find her rates here. http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2007/01/authoress-edits.html  She is awesome and has been my critique partner for a while. You’ll love her.

After you’ve fixed all of the things that your content editor pointed out, you need a line editor.

Don’t argue with me because YES YOU DO. Unless you are a professional editor, you absolutely will not find all of the problems. Even if you are an editor your own brain still sees your story as it wants it to be, not as someone else sees it. Habits sneak up on the best of us, bad habits, evil habits. The comma fairy will come when you are asleep and poop all over your manuscript and you won’t even notice.

I use Richard Shealy  as a line editor and you can find him at http://sffcopyediting.com/index.php/who/  Even if you’re not writing scifi or fantasy, give him an email.

So let’s review the order of how we edit our finished manuscript.

1.       Have a beta group of readers

2.       Hire a content editor

3.       Fix all of the things

4.       Hire a line editor

5.       Submit your work to agents and editors.

6.       Get an agent or a publisher

Start all over again

I Don't Do Copy Edits, But I Know Who Does

Okay guys, you know I do content editing but I don't have the skill to do copy editing. You can find all kinds of people running about on the Internet saying they do have those skills. Anyway, I thought some of you might need those services in the near future. (I've been reading some awesome manuscripts.)

Or, some of you might not want me to do your content editing because I eat a lot of cake or whatever. Also because I might be just a little crazy. (Six children worth of crazy and I earned every zapped-out molecule.)

So without any further fanfare, here are two people I would trust with my money and my manuscripts. They are both brilliant and have worked with a lot of popular published authors. They can copy edit. I can't.

A lot of you know Authoress Anonymous and her awesome website Miss Snark's First Victim. If you're a writer you should go there immediately. She has some of the most awesome agent and editor contests ever! She also works as an independent editor. Her editorial services and prices are listed. She only does partials at the moment and I do believe that there will soon be a way where (for a price and in an emergency) you can jump the queue.

http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/2007/01/authoress-edits.html I personally recommend her. We've been friends and critique partners for years. Your manuscript can only get better in her hands.

The second person I'd like to recommend is Richard Shealy. He specializes in fantasy and science fiction and works professionally for some of the big six publishers. I personally know the big names he beta reads for,(no I won't tell you ) and guarantee that he'll keep all of those pesky ducks (or dragons) marching in a nice row. He is excellent at keeping you voice yours, and he will line edit your work until it shines like gold.

I think the science fiction and fantasy writers know how difficult it is to find someone who understands your world and the rules. He can do it. His website is here. http://sffcopyediting.com/

Of course you can have me wearing my bossy pants for content edits.

Both of the above people are personal friends and I have no doubts guaranteeing their integrity.

I Killed the Crockpot But I Didn't Shoot the Refugee

So today was the big day for my high school kids. The entire school dresses like turn of the century immigrants and they go through the processing at Ellis Island (the school gym) like their ancestors did. We spent yesterday getting costumes together.

The kids asked me to make Russian Piroshki, which are fried meat pies. So after working my patotie off on costumes, I stayed up until midnight prepping the meat, eggs, onions, etc so the actual cooking of the pies would be easy for this morning.

My youngest son, Gabe.






This is my middle daughter Ellie----->

 This morning I was up at dark o'clock to make the piroshki. I rolled dough and filled pies and fried them up. There was plenty of time, we even had five minutes to sit before we had to load up the crock pot and drive to school.

We didn't make it out the door. (insert scene of wild panic). Glass was everywhere, the floor, the counters and most of all it was fallen into the peroshki.

The phone rang and my youngest had forgotten her lunch. The dogs were in the glass trying to get the meat.

Well, by then we were running late. The kids piled into the car, I grabbed the dogs, one on a leash and one without, threw a lunch together for youngest daughter, and made it to the car.

Since bringing food is a part of the grade for Ellis Island, the high school kids were freaked.

I dropped the immigrants at their school and sped over to the grade school to drop off lunch. Then The dogs and I went to the grocery, picked up more ingredients, and sped home. But when I got here, the Lowe's truck was unloading my new washing machine. So I parked across the street. One dog was on the leash, one was under my arm like a purse and my other arm had the groceries.

The dog's hind leg got stuck in the waistband of my sweat pants and I pretty much mooned the delivery guys on my way in the door. Seriously, I did. They may never marry having had a preview of the coming attractions of middle age.

So then I had to roll out and make another four dozen Piroshki. Of course, since the crock pot was smashed and gone to Jesus, there was the ginormous hunt for the missing electric pancake griddle. (It was the only thing big enough to heat a turkey-roaster pan full of meat pies-- because cold fried pie is nasty.)

Finally, I actually managed to deliver the Piroshki to school. Now the immigrants won't starve and I may be a hero.

Noon: This just in. Middle daughter tweeted me that the piroshki was the first food to be eaten gone! We win at lunch.

3PM: The pancake griddle evidently caught a chair on fire. 0-O

Baby Evil Writers 101: Tags and Traits

I'm blogging at the Evil League of Evil Writers today on Tags and Traits. It is Here.

On Patience and Publishing

On Patience and Publishing

The first query I sent received a request for a full in less than five minutes. (I know, right? I had an instant heart-attack.) Upon later enlightenment (much later) I realized that particular manuscript stunk on ice. This was an unfortunate event. Why you might think. Well, because it gave me unreal expectations about the timeline of publishing.

Don’t fool yourself kiddo. Writing is a long-term investment of your mind, and your heart.

What I've come to realize is that you’re going to do your time before you emerge triumphant. You’ll also head down into the Valley of Fail (many times) and work your way back up to the peak of I can do this. (If you want to win)

There will be rejections.

Either you’ll get them at the front from agents and editors or you’ll have them from reviewers. They will be there—in spades. But there will also be moments of pure joy. The day you write THE END on a story and the first time you hand pages to someone to read and you can see them sucked into the world you've created.

The best of all is the day you’re signed by your dream agent. (I was so floaty and flabbergasted that I lost a brand-new phone—seriously, I never found it again. Only Heaven kept me from wrecking the car because I absolutely do not remember driving.)

Everyone has a different experience. Some few go straight to the top. But most of us plug along day after day and take years. Don’t think you’re all alone out there in the dark.

The rest of us are rooting for you. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get to work. We know you can do this

.

Here is a hug. *HUGS*

Baby Evil Writers 101: Character Sheets

I am all bossy today about the baby evil writers. You can see it here.

On Being Thankful and Zombies

On Being Thankful and Zombies

Sometimes, along with the stress and worries of the holidays, a great big boat load of amnesia takes over our brains. Not only do we forget we’re human, we manage to forget that the rest of the world is, too.

We scurry along in a rush of shopping, cleaning, cooking, and then turn into Holiday Zombies. Our faces are pale and black circles appear under our eyes. Fingers turn red and green from the food color in holiday cookies.

  

Eventually our hurried stride turns into a slow death walk while we moan “Sugaaaaaaaaaaaar.” (Okay, some of you groan “Caffeiiiiiiiiiiiiine,” but you do that every morning anyway,)

Pretty much, Zombies terrify the rest of creation —especially children. All of the pumpkin pie and stuffed turkeys in the world won’t make up for the fact that there is a monster in the house. (Seriously guys, it won’t.)

You don’t need fourteen side dishes—no one is that hungry. Your bedroom doesn't have to be redecorated just in case a guest needs to have a nap. You needn't zombiefy your poor self or drive the bank account into the red to pay for dinner

.

What people really want for the holidays is to enjoy time with friends and family. If they’re at your house, they already love you and will forgive a few dust bunnies. Before you start the tightrope walk on that silver wire of stress, take a minute to be thankful for what you already have. Count your blessings and cut your list.

You’ll thank me for it later.

How Publishing is Like Your Mother — Not! :: Buzzy Mag – Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction.

I'm over at Buzzy Mag today  How Publishing is Like Your Mother — Not! :: Buzzy Mag – Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction.

Baby Evil Writers 101: Conflict, Resolution, Setback

I'm blogging at the Evil League of Evil Writers today On Conflict, resolution, and setback. You can see it here.

5 Ways To Know if Book Reviews Are Fake :: Buzzy Mag – Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction. – Science Fiction Source

5 Ways To Know if Book Reviews Are Fake :: Buzzy Mag – Sci-Fi News, Reviews, Interviews and Original Fiction. – Science Fiction Source

So my new article is up at Buzzy Mag. You can read it http://buzzymag.com/how-to-be-and-online-social-media-guru/ and click on all the things.

The Ten Commandments of Query Letters

The Ten Commandments of Query Letters

1. Verily I say unto you, it is forbidden to mass query to Agents. Thou shalt not put many names and email addresses in the address line nor in the Carbon Copy nor in the Blind Carbon Copy. For each agent has a name.
2. And thou shalt personalize thy query to each agent with a name and each has a name.
3. Thou shalt put thy email address and thy street address and thy phone number on the query or thy children and thy children’s children shall rise up and call thee Stupid for missing an opportunity.
4. Thou shalt not send a query for an unedited manuscript even in the enthusiasm following Nano for thy name shall be Mud and thy query rejected verily.
5. Thou shalt respect the silence of Agents who have posted no response means no on their websites on pain of losing the opportunity to query to them forever and of taking the privilege from thy brothers.
6. Thou shalt go onto the internet to research agents and to follow their guidelines lest thy query be lost to the evil of spam folders.
7. Thou shalt keep thy query letter to one page for Agents have eyes and eyes can be broken.
8. Thou shalt only send a query letter to an agent who represents thy genre which has a name.
9. Thou shalt not hassle an agent about thy query on twitter or facebook or any social networking sites for they are there to be social. They are people and they have a name.
10. And on the seventh day if a rejection shall come, thou shalt rejoice for thy skin is thicker with each rejection and thou shalt need a thick skin when you have a name, for lo and verily there are reviewers.

What the Flock is a HIGH CONCEPT PITCH?

So you’ve been reading the blogs on how to write a query letter. You can do this, right? I could do it too until I tripped over the term High Concept Pitch. Suddenly I saw it everywhere I looked. I was totally freaked out! I mean, I though High Concept meant that my story had to have this huge, underlying message or theme like the LITERATURE that was required reading in High School. I thought I’d hit the pot hole in my writer’s road, the one that would blow my tires and strip out my transmission. I’m a genre kind of girl. No way do I write “high” anything.
Umm…no. Not so much.
High Concept means that what you write will ring a bell with the majority of readers- like zombies or vampires. Sometimes it means what you write is what you avoid saying at parties- a subject that will stir the pot and get people mad. Either way, when you have a HIGH CONCEPT PITCH, all the people understand with no effort.
Guess what this means? It’s easy. Don’t make it hard guys. In ten words or less, in one sentence or phrase, what is your story about?
Romeo and Juliette with werewolves and vampires?
Twilight, right?
No extra embellishments, no tap dance with fifty characters and a supporting cast and crew. Just. Your. Story. Simple, simple, simple.
Now for the bad news; not every story is high concept. If a main character is on a JOURNEY and has all this mental baggage to work through while he eats ice cream every Sunday for fifty years- umm not high concept. If your rambunctious little old lady finds a complicated murder plan in her crochet pattern book and you need to know how to crochet to understand- then probably not.
High concept is LOUD it doesn’t simper or whisper.
Sometimes people use famous books or movies to describe their high concept. Make sure they’re famous with everyone and don’t use 2 movies to describe your high concept. I mean, really. What on Earth is *Gone with the Wind meets Rent*? Seriously?
Keep your examples up to date and huge. You can’t use just any movie or book. Be evocative with your words and use what is popular and easy to understand for the majority. Then, ask people who haven’t read your book what mind-picture they get with your pitch.
If they say, “HUH?” it needs work.
You’re painting a word picture that a gerjillion people can understand. First, let’s look at a few proper names. Harry Potter, Chuck Norris, Barack Obama, and Gandalf all bring up completely different pictures in my head. Mother Mary, Scarlett O’Hara, Betty Boop, and Hillary Clinton aren’t exactly the same either. Each is a name bigger than life. Each paints a different mind-picture.
Some books and movies paint pictures the same way. Die Hard, Lord of the Rings, Jaws, and Pretty Woman. You see what I mean? All of these are iconic. All of them paint pictures. Almost everyone reading these names and titles gets basically the same picture. Of course you didn’t write a book about Betty Boop. But, if your main character is a dippy flapper in the 1920’s, Betty Boop not only says what she is but when she is. My grandmother knows Betty Boop and my eleven-year-old knows Betty Boop.
We spend years learning to make our books different. But for a high concept pitch, you need to generalize and to do it in a way everyone can understand.